Being pushed back to me

During the first four years of my teaching career, I went through this strange experience.  I felt incredible satisfaction as a teacher, really felt like I got to the point where I was honed in on my kids, their passions, my ability to support them in those and feel like my marriage was the best it's ever been. 

Yet, I was lost.  Unsatisfied.  Depressed.

Yes, part of it was my physical appearance, and there are still those pesky last ten pounds I would LIKE to lose, but if they are here to stay, I'm not dissatisfied. 

Outside of a few online exceptions and work colleagues, I really didn't have friends.  Part of it was my absolute and complete lack of desire at belonging to a Bunco group - so not what I wanted. 

I took on an attitude, especially during completing my Master's, that was "I am woman, watch me conquer the whole freakin' world."  My music reflected this, my mindset reflected this.  And I think to have the success I did, this was necessary.

But each of these caused me to become lost, feel incredibly lonely and completely forget who Tasha was.

Then I started writing again.  And I got invited to be part of a writing group. 

And one night, a particularly low night, my husband with his very blunt manner but with very good intent, told me if I didn't like my life, I could either keep crying about it or figure out something to do to change it. 

In the last two weeks, I have been to a writing conference at UVU, attended a particularly productive writer's group and spent eight hours yesterday with Mette Ivie Harrison and several Southern Utah writers, receiving good critiques but some pretty decent praise. 

Enoch has been nothing but supportive.  For me to travel north last week, he had to cover some things with the kids and take a short day of work.  He puts the kids to bed when I go to my writer's group.  He is affectionate when I'm leaving, excited to hear about things when I return. 

I feel a great deal of satisfaction with my life, and a huge part of that is because of him. 

Yup, I'm pretty lucky.

March Madness Recap - Catie Turns Six

It is difficult to believe that Catie is six.  I have often heard parents say they still envision their children at certain ages and I just think Catie is five.  I loved her as a five year old.  She is one of those kids who just is happy - skips randomly when most people walk and doesn't take a bad picture. 

This year, for her birthday, it was all about Tangled.  Lots of fun for party ideas, but difficult to think of a conceptual cake.  How to make a Tangled cake, with my time frame and baking abilities...then it hit me when I was walking through the store - Hostess Ding Dongs!  A few skewers through the middle to keep them from falling over and some canned icing (don't judge me...) and we have a cake.

I was actually pretty proud of the way it turned out and Catie seemed excited, so we called this one a win!  We had this as the dessert with the relatives that were able to come over on her birthday.  

We had Catie's friend party the Saturday following her birthday.  Tangled was still a pretty new concept for birthday parties, but I found some great ideas on the trusty internet.  I stole the idea for the party invitations from this blog and since I forgot to take a picture of ours, so I'm including hers.

Totally cute and it got the girls very excited.  They arrived, colored Tangled pictures and made flowers from felt to wear like Rapunzel does.  Enoch gets all sorts of dad praise for his willingness to help 5-6 year old girls make felt flowers.  Seriously, how did I get so lucky?

They turned out really cute and were VERY easy - if you are looking for cute and simple, the instructions for these are here.  We also had the girls make the bookmarks from the same site, teaching them the basics of braiding.  We had the Tangled soundtrack playing during all of this and moved on to the best part - decorating cupcakes :)

You can see the girls are wearing their flowers.  Advice for having kids decorate cupcakes - icing in a can doesn't make a huge mess and is somewhat user friendly.  It was a very fun day and I think all the girls enjoyed themselves.

Why I'm Lucky

I suppose these kinds of posts tend to just show up when it is an anniversary or birthday, but today I felt inspired. I am married to my best friend in the whole world. He makes me laugh all the time, but even more than that, he lets me be me, supports me and helps me. He encourages me to keep going, keep achieving, keep discovering what I'm passionate about.

Some of you may not know, but Enoch is in charge at our house in the mornings. I have to be at work just shortly after the kids wake up (if they are awake yet) and Enoch takes on the task of getting them dressed, hair done, breakfast, teeth brushed, backpacks together and out the door. He is a superb listening ear and will let me vent to him even when I've had a bad day, frustrating meeting or teens that have pushed me to the brink of sanity.

His support doesn't just extend to me. Every year he either coaches or takes an active role in assisting coaches with our kids teams. He knows how to motivate and inspire the kids, teach them correct ideas and quality values and have lots of fun doing it.

He is the priesthood holder in our family and I'm constantly amazed at the perspective he has with our kids. He encourages discipline and for the kids to learn individual responsibility, but not only that, he is supportive of me as a parent and requires respect from the kids toward me.

Enoch is hard working (economy aside). He is a perfectionist and will not settle for a product that isn't the quality work he is accustomed to completing. He has great personal skills when interacting with his customers and manages situations that would have my anger level in the red with calm, even if he isn't feeling that calm on the inside. I wish I had his ability to just blow things off, forget them, move on and disregard.

He's not perfect. Neither am I. But I'm really happy that our imperfections seem to work together, that we communicate like we do and can work out our problems. I have had some difficult issues this year due to a number of circumstances, but I know, always, that when I need Enoch to be there, he will be there.

He is absolutely my dream guy.

My Role as a Woman

WARNING: LONG POST

Don't you love the economy? Because I do. It is a wonderful, fantastic thing that is going exactly as I wanted, and I'm so overjoyed by this experience that I'm blogging about it.

Hello. My name is Tasha. I'm overly sarcastic.

I have been having some interesting discussions lately about the role of women, how it's changing. I've even heard that it is the thing that Sandra Bullock was talking about three years ago when she started the adoption process on her new son. As much as I like her, that's not what this blog is about.

A week ago, I had the opportunity to attend a regional LDS relief society meeting with Sheri Dew as a guest speaker. If I were going to pick two women who I would consistently jump at the chance to listen to, she would be one and Mary Ellen Edmunds the other. They are women who didn't necessarily have life go the way they planned or how they were told it should. I get that. I completely relate.

Let me explain. When I was growing up, I thought mom's went to school to be smart enough to have something to fall back on if their husbands died and to be smart enough to help their kids do their homework. A GOOD wife is content to stay home with the children, may run a small business on the side to have some extra money and is so happy to be mom.

I have known since I lived in a little apartment in Orem, UT with a working husband and staying completely at home for the first time in my marriage with a baby that the role of a full time stay at home mom was not for me. I almost lost my mind several times. I'm not one who cries very much, but I was all the time. I was not at all a joy to live with and felt like I was the biggest jerk in the world that every moment with my newborn son was not fulfilling for me.

I know many AMAZING women who have complete joy in staying with their children, they feel such satisfaction in experiencing their everyday looks, discoveries, etc. I ADORE my children, am thrilled when they want to come snuggle with me, love that my girls love to do my hair, want to bake, that they want to collect everything and think they are about a cute as anyone when they are in their little costumes or uniforms performing.

But when I was doing just this, I was depressed. I felt picked on, neglected, ignored and unnecessary for anything but cooking and cleaning. I know that most women go through these periods, but I couldn't get out of it.

So now I work. I LOVE what I do for work - I really do. But with the economy, what started as a way to jointly create income and shifted to me carrying a decent amount of the burden. I'm so incredibly GRATEFUL that I have this job - I honestly don't know where we would be without it. But that at times is a burden I didn't think I'd feel. It has made me appreciate the stress that husbands often have of carrying the burden of money and still being a fully invested parent.

Back to Sheri Dew - she spoke of the importance of magnifying our role - whatever that may be. Mothers are absolutely the foundation of society and the presence of one who cares about her kids absolutely has an impact on that child. Trust me, I work with teens from all different aspects and I can always tell who has a mom that cares.

It is a difficult thing to explain to "traditionalists" that I'm carrying so much of the financial part of the relationship right now, that Enoch is a tremendous help around home, and while it hasn't shifted completely, there is somewhat of a role reversal going on right now. And, being prone to self- inflicted guilt trips, I sometimes feel like maybe I'm not the mom that everyone else is, that I'm neglecting my kids if I'm not in 100% attendance at every event of every child and volunteering in the classroom every week.

I'm learning to cut myself some slack. I don't get after Enoch if he misses part or all of a game because he's working. The kids don't come in with sad puppy eyes if he isn't at the whole thing. No one goes to bed feeling neglected if the dishes aren't washed that night, or there's still some laundry not folded and in the living room.

I'm a damn good mom. My kids all do a decent job in their games, are at or above level in school, learning how to play the piano, and know how to clean their rooms, even if they don't all the time, and know how to behave in all kinds of social situations. It's okay for me to be sane, working, providing - I can do that and still be a loving mom. My role right now isn't traditional - I don't know that it ever was intended to be. But at this point in my life - I feel satisfied, full of joy and incredibly blessed.

I feel a manifestation that the Lord is pleased with what I'm doing right now. He told me that I would have the opportunity to teach many students, both those who are of the faith and those who aren't, and that I would have a powerful impact on them, that they would remember me as one who cared about them. My ultimate goal is to have my children always know they are the tops, they are my favorite, they are my loves, life and priorities. I'm thrilled that I have a husband who is okay with that, who doesn't mind picking up the slack that may be left behind because of that (usually the dishes) and that I have a Heavenly Father who knew me well enough to let me be born at a time when I could do this and be a mom.

I am truly blessed.

The Mystery Date

Enoch and I have really been trying to find time to date each other lately. We agreed to follow this idea (but did not sign the contract) to do a date a week, most of them at home after the kids have gone to bed, alternating who is in charge and just watching TV does not count. Last week, we got invited by my sister and her husband to go play at the local golf course.

I took 20 strokes off of my game and hit a 70 instead of a 90 - aren't you impressed!!!

Okay, we only played nine holes. Probably shouldn't make that call to the LPGA yet...

Anyway, last week was my week and I thought I would tie it in with the date of the month that Enoch selected (for March...yea, got a little behind) which was the mystery date.

When I put that option for him, I thought it sounded like lots of fun, but then when it came time to actually implement it, I struggled. What was the mystery, how much, how could I pull it off, etc. Then, epiphany came from here and I gave him a piece of paper where he had to pick one out of each of the following pairs of choices.

Hot/Cold

Sword/Whip

High/Low

Light/Dark

Needless to say, the sword/whip choice had him VERY confused, but that's part of the fun, right? So, after he made his selections, I started him out on the date (a week later).

I gave him an envelope that was sealed and gave some instructions for him to drive to a particular location. (Drive down Midvalley and then Minersville, getting on to I-15 going south, exit when you can see the lighthouse, turn right at the light, turn right again as soon as you can, enter the location with a girl surrounded in green, upon entering, open the envelope and follow the instructions).

I put a ten dollar bill and my order for caramel apple cider with whipped cream and told him to order what he wanted. Then return home. (HOT)

Then, when we had finished our drinks, we broke out the game controllers and played a level of Lego Indiana Jones. (WHIP)

For those of you with inquiring minds, the sword was Lego Star Wars...:)

He then got a really good, long, relaxing back massage (HIGH - low would have been feet)

For the last one he selected dark.

Moving on.

It turned out to be really fun, and cost me $5.00 plus the gas for him to drive in and back out. The kids were in bed the whole time and it was fun to just hang out and have fun like we used to "way back in the day." I know there are many who are frustrated with things in their lives, and we (men & women) tend to take things out on our spouses. But when you were dating, did you? We know there is stress, but try this idea - shoot for once a week, but if you need to start with once a month, it's better than nothing. It's nice to remember on a regular basis how to have fun with your spouse. And it doesn't have to cost a gajillion dollars either.

All the links in this post have amazing ideas on how to have fun, rekindle the romance and keep it very under budget, regardless of what your budget is.

Affirmation

One of mine...

Affirmation

-Tasha Seegmiller

It looked like heaven, the snow

cleansing tumultuous world.

Scarlet sins,

erased, just as Isaiah said.

Sun slithers across the sky

such spotlessness is short;

society spoils celestial aspirations

following misguided light.

I rose from the water

the first time I found heaven.

Born, again, but this time

without the tears or the trauma,

protected by the strength and love of my

father’s hands.

Such perfection would guarantee

my entrance through St. Peter’s gates.

But I am human

imperfect, stained.

One among millions

who ruin innocence.

I found heaven once more,

Kneeling across an altar from

my best friend, he and I in perfect white

having heard from many

it’s never too late.

He tells me I’m an angel

One who guides his way -

but he is mine,

and I am his and we are unified.

Heaven isn’t solitary confinement,

unity is the governing principle

as Lucifer knows, or knew,

this world could have been. His

pride the ruler,

humility the slave

But that isn’t the way in heaven.

Once again, snowflakes merge

reminders of hope amid winter’s grasp.

Miniscule angels joined together

to gently make the earth,

if but for a moment,

pure.

More than Roger Rabbit knew

How many of you remember Who Framed Roger Rabbit? You may have to go digging back in the memory a little bit, but I'm pretty sure most of you do.

If you will remember, in there, he is having problems in his marriage to his ridiculous wife who made (makes) women all over the world have a complex because we can NEVER look that way. I mean, really, she keeps that hair perfectly in place all the time. The products that are available to animated women is just simply unfair.

What? Isn't that what you were thinking too? I thought so.

Anyway, Roger gets the idea to write his wife, Jessica, a poem to tell her how much he loves her. Anyone remember how it starts?

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways....one...two...three...four....."

Remember?

That was my first exposure to this poem. It actually took me a long time to want to read this poem because I thought it was just a cheesy love poem that some love sick, pathetic, hopeless romantic wrote about some boy she was crushing on and then killed herself when he married someone else. But that couldn't be further from the truth. The poet, Elizabeth Barrett Browning, knew a great deal about love, sacrificed her relationship with her father in order to marry the man she corresponded with over almost two years. And this girl knew how to use words.

So that brings us to her words. I love this poem. I'm in awe at the concept in the second and third lines. This kind of love goes beyond the marriage vows that are common among other faiths. But the best part is her recognition that her ability to love now is minimal compared to how she will be able to love after death. Enjoy!

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

Love and Music

Chocolate on my Cranium did it again - a great Wordful Wednesday prompt. Yea, I'm a day late (yesterday wasn't a good day) but as I went through my crappy day yesterday, I found that I longed to here these songs more. So, here are the three songs that while they may not be "our songs" they are ones that make me think fondly of Enoch and adore him a little more.

*Note - I'm updating this at my school which has YouTube blocked, so I've linked to the songs - just look around for the play buttons on each site to hear these songs, and some are just a part of the song, but you'll get the basic idea :)

1. Guess Who - B.B. King

When Enoch and I started dating, I had a compilation of Blues CD's and this song came on one night. We danced to it in my room, and it kindof became the song that we loved to listen to, dance to and that makes me smile everytime I hear it.

2. The Nearness of You - Ella Fitzgerald

I LOVE her voice! I could listen to her all the time. When Enoch and I had been married just a year, we found this CD and gave it to Enoch's dad for Christmas. We then promptly stole it back, put it on our computer and gave it back to him. This song is sung by many other people, but I think it needs to be by Ella - she did it best, and Louis Armstrong is just awesome. My sweet husband just put his arms around me yesterday while we listened to this song. Yea, he's amazing.

3. Stellar - Incubus and Porcelain - Better Than Ezra

I guess these are more a build me up songs and make be feel beautiful, sexy and amazing. They are the songs that Enoch says he plays to remind him of me. Every girl needs a guy who has a few songs that make her sound this good, right?

And there you have it - some of "our songs" - what are yours?

Love is in the Air

I have four books that I need to write reviews for, three or four goodies that we have made that I haven't posted about yet and about 80 tests to grade. So what am I doing with my time? Blogging. And not even blogging about what I usually blog about. What am I blogging about?

LOVE

I'm blogging about love because I meant to do in at Christmas time when I first started on this little journey, but as you can see, I'm practicing my procrastination with the only thing that won't fall apart if I procrastinate it. My blog.

For Christmas, Enoch really bought his own present - some TaylorMade irons from his friend - he needed them, they were a great deal and so he got them. That and a four day guys only trip to California to see Metallica, golf three courses, see a Jazz vs Lakers game...yea, I really wasn't going to spend anymore money on him. But, I wanted to make sure there was something for him to enjoy, to open, from me on Christmas morning. That's about the time I found this blog.

This is such a fun blog. It's written by a woman named Cher who has and shares her great creative ideas on how to keep the love alive - especially difficult with kids, jobs, callings, life. She had the idea to make a Date of the Month club that I could "sign him up" for, which featured tickets, a date of the month selection and two premier weekend/overnight experiences. The catch? It's all done at home and for a relatively low cost. It gives us the opportunity to have a date (watching TV DOES NOT COUNT) without having to find a babysitter or spend money (because we don't have any right now) or have any elaborate plans.

Here were the 12 choices Enoch had -

Pizzeria Night – a saucy night where we will cook up some masterpieces

Night at the Spa – a night to soak and rub away all the stress

Cosmic Date – a romantic date under the stars with yours truly

Tailgate Party – You choose the game, I’ll take care of the rest

Chinese Date – We’ll be eating on the floor and finding out our fortunes

Pirates Quest – embark on the adventure to find your own treasure

Exclusive Movie Preview – Get the red carpet treatment tonight

Words of Love – Words you create will let you win in more ways than one…

Love Doctor – Need a Checkup? Perhaps bed rest is just the cure you need...

Wild West Night – This saloon’s got the best grub and prettiest girl in town

Here Birdie Birdie – Playing a round or hitting the range, just you and me

Mystery Date - Some clues and reasoning required to solve this puzzle

If you want to see how it is all supposed to turn out you can click here. I put all of Enoch's gifts in different sized manilla envelopes and then all in one big envelope. So far we have had some fun, it gives us something to look forward to and reminds us to have time for each other.

Seriously, check out her blog (set aside some time) the ideas are cute, sexy and fun. And just in time for Valentine's Day. Also, she has a deal where she will make all this for you and all you have to do is print - if you are too busy but still want to do it, you really should contact her. She customizes the dates to your preference and for only $9.99. Really? What a great deal. Go on - click on this link.

Get out of here and remember what it's like to do silly things because you are in love.

Didn't Win Again

In sixteen hours, NaNoWriMo will be over again. I realized about November 15th that I wasn't going to meet my goal this year. I have a terrific idea that I'm thrilled about and can't wait to explore. But this year, things just didn't click the way I hoped they would after having participated last year. Here are some reasons why.

1. Last year, I wasn't taking any Master's classes. And granted, this semesters classes were a joke and a half, including assignments about how to integrate a yo-yo into my classroom and how to

validate information about a half-human half horse from the Enquirer (really?) but they still took up time, energy and all creative ideas.

2. I'm in a primary presidency that is the most fluid I've ever experienced. We have teachers who won't call in subs, not enough people to fill callings, more people leaving...I guess this isn't uncommon right now, but since I was put in as the second counselor in July, we have never had enough teachers for everything and we still don't have a secretary. It's kindof a frazzled time in our ward right now and I am feeling that as well.

3. I have more kids involved in more things, and not even over the top. Will has scouts every Tuesday, which is also the same day Ellie has dance and every other one, I have a presidency meeting. Just people going places.

4. We have been SICK. My kids missed the first part of November with either Swine Flu or Influenza A (they aren't even testing anymore) so that was a stress to find people who could cover as I only have so many days I can take off from school. Then I spent a week with an annoying dry hacking cough that only flared up at night, you know, when I was trying to sleep. Throw in Thanksgiving, my kitchen experiments, my quest to not eat out, and writing just didn't make it to the top of the priority list.

What did I learn? Well, for one of the first times in my life, I let something go. I have learned that only I can determine the size of my plate AND how much to put on it. I really wanted to have success this year, but it wasn't essential. I think my ability to let that go made this past holiday much more enjoyable and I'm thrilled with the experiences I'm having with my kids.

Last night, Will, Ellie and Enoch played Apples to Apples, Jr.

They are getting old enough that they can think in abstract terms, make comparisons, etc. It was HILARIOUS. Catie and I played UNO (minus the Draw Two and Draw Four cards so the game doesn't outlast her attention span) I love it when she wins. She raises her little hands above her head (touchdown pose) and says "YEESSSS!" That's my girl.

Another positive from this experience is that I now have two stories I can work through. I would really like to get them to the point where they are publishable, whether or not that ever happens. I enjoy writing and really think it is going to be just what I need in the future, when the Master's is done, and I want that creative outlet. And yes, I have every intention of participating, and winning, next year.

Influential People

I'm pretending to be more thoughtful, grounded and in tune with my life. I've been recording and watching people who have done presentations on BYU TV and doing things to try to fill my spiritual cup as being in the primary doesn't always do it.* Then I saw this prompt and decided to participate. Please note, these are in the order as they appear in my head - not necessarily in order of importance.

1. Mary Ellen Edmunds

I remember hearing about her when I was young. Her niece, Noelle, was one of m dad's favorite students (yes, teachers have favorites) and my dad had her tape Love is a Verb. Being an English nerd since about 1st grade, I liked the idea that she was taking a word and explaining how it was a certain part of speech instead of another. But after listening to her tape, I was in awe of her sense of humor, of her ability to laugh about things - even when they didn't go her way, and how she had a perpetually cheery disposition. I tend to be a skeptic and over analyze things to the point that they aren't funny anymore. While I consider myself hilarious, others have always thought me to be too serious - something I'm trying to fix. Apparently dry humor and sarcasm isn't appreciated by all people. Who knew.

2. C. S. Lewis

I love Jack's writings. I have re-read Mere Christianity several times (although not since I entered blog land. Need to do that and get a book review back up). I was moved by Surprised by Joy. I really feel that my true healing after my first miscarriage came from reading A Grief Observed. I find him to express his emotions in a way I'm just not capable, to have a wit that I miss in our current society and loved that he didn't avoid talking about any topic just because someone thought he should. I wish we had more people like him.

3. Dallin H. Oaks

I adore his no nonsense way of talking about things. I'm sure part of it is from being a lawyer and judge, that he just says things as they are. I appreciate the integrity of people like him who aren't worried about being politically correct, can say things flat out and aren't offensive - he has a great deal of tact. Additionally, I was very impressed with the way he dealt with his wife passing and the issue of getting remarried. He exudes class.

4. David Lee

He was my Intro to Poetry professor and taught me about John Milton. I don't know that I really thought I was smart until I took his class. I developed a love for language, for words, unlike any I had before. He taught with a passion that was unparalleled, would tear up in front of class at the beauty of language, and get completely fired up over issues about which he had a definite opinion. I first thought I could get education beyond a Bachelor's because of him.

5. Sergei Rachmaninoff

This man could compose emotion into music in such a manner that even after I have heard his works several times, I still feel the emotion. His third Piano Concerto (2nd too), Elegy, Preludes for the piano, and Vocalise move me. There are amazing deep tones that only a Russian seems to really know how to use, and the tragedy that was in his life is portrayed through those notes in such a powerful way. He, Saint-Saens, Beethoven and Shostakovich are my favorites. (Cheating there....I know).

6. Laurie Halse Anderson

I have this dream to be a person who can manipulate language in the way she does. I haven't read a story by her that didn't move me, stay with me for days and leave me in awe at her talent. She can capture a voice with her characters that feels so real that I feel like I know them. She is not afraid to share her opinions, is very grounded in her life and just is herself (as far as I can tell from the writings on her blogs). Impressive.

7. Parents

One of the greatest compliments I can receive from someone is that they think I'm like my parents. They are two of the most driven and hard working people I know. I have the my work ethic because of them. They are firm in their faith, determined to improve and the example for my life.

8. Jeffrey R. Holland

He's got a temper, is passionate, well educated and calls it as he sees it. His love of literature and incorporation of it into his talks was what first drew me to him, his eloquence and passion about topics made him climb the list of people I adore to hear. His talk "How Do I Love Thee" is one I listen to each year - moves me to tears. I would like to think I love that much.

9. Carolyn Keene

I LOVED Nancy Drew. I read them all, re-read many and adored them all. There are few things that made me more upset than when I saw the spin they were putting on movie they just released. These books fed my desire to read, were cute, logical and perfect for a reading crazy girl. Someday I want to get a collection of all of her original books in hard bound for my house.

10. Enoch Seegmiller

Last the best? Maybe. Many of you may know that this guy and I have known each other since elementary, but what is funny is that so many of my really great memories involve him - even when we weren't dating. But he really started to change my life during the dating process. He helped me see myself in a way I hadn't before - to appreciate and even celebrate the craziness that is me, to quit trying to be everyone else and just be me. Sure, I married him and think he is the best thing in my life, period, but beyond that, I will never be able to thank him enough for person he has helped me become.

*An exception this was when our Sunbeams sang the first two lines of How Firm a Foundation - cried each time they practiced and in the performance. Moving.

My Triumph over the Celebrities

I have to admit that there are times in my life when I wish I had some of the celebrity life. I mean, think about it. They have the smoking hot bodies because they have two or three hours a day with nothing else to do but work out. They have people who will come in their homes and cook for them, but better yet, they also clean up for them! No waiting in lines at gas stations so that the idiot three people in front can pay for a pack of cigarettes with coins. Really, there are many aspects about that celebrity lifestyle that really would be nice.

But I figured out a way to make my life better than the celebrities. See, I ten years and three months ago, I said yes when my friend since second grade got down on his knee on the steps of the St. George temple and asked me to marry him.

Ten years ago today, I made the drive with my almost husband to St. George, perma-grin fully in tact.

Ten years ago today, we sat together in the waiting room and had the officiator of our ceremony ask if we were nervous. No.

Ten years ago today, I held hands with the greatest man I've known in a small room surrounded by our family and were joined for eternity.

I beat the celebrities by having a relationship that has gotten stronger over the years. I beat the celebrities by not running to divorce court during the really, really hard times. I beat the celebrities because, in spite of having to wait my turn, pay for everything I own and working my tail off, I get to share my life with someone I know is as dedicated to me as I am to him.

I bet there are many celebrities who wish they were like me!

Why Dads Coach

When you see Ellie, it is easy to see how it is very much worth it.

Two Days without Enoch

Enoch is going to be in SLC for a couple of days framing in the basement of his BFF, Greg (and yes, he would probably kill me for describing their relationship that way, but I find it hilarious) They are hoping to be back Tuesday evening, Wednesday at the latest.

I know it may seem silly, but I really hate being apart from Enoch. We have been married nine and a half years, but the number of nights we have spent apart is probably just over two weeks worth total. (Yes, I'm spoiled) I'm kindof fond of him for some strange reason.

Luckily, he bought me The Host for Christmas, which should take me some time to get through, and I still have this novel rattling around in my head begging to be written. Also, the Broncos play the Chargers tonight for life in the playoffs, I've got to plan a unit for A Raisin in the Sun, and figure out how I want to teach poetry to my creative writing class this time around. That doesn't count laundry, playing with the kids, cooking something or other, etc. I have more than enough to keep me busy.

But I still can't wait until he gets back. :)

I'm dreaming...

...of a white Christmas!!! We are getting pounded with snow right now, and it looks like we are going to get snow all next week. I'm so happy I can't stand it!!!
I think Enoch's sharing my joy, but it's hard to tell...

Happy Birthday Enoch!

Today's Enoch's 32nd birthday.  

I always get up before him (he is not a morning person) and woke him with 32 kisses all over his face (which he really didn't enjoy, but I thought was a blast).  To celebrate he is going to go play 18 holes in Mesquite on Friday and then he and I are going to spend some time in St. George on Saturday.  

I think the kids are more excited for it to be his birthday that he is.  We are going to make his brownies after school today and before dance and grab some Chili's To Go so the kids can celebrate with him. 

I imagine his enthusiasm will increase as the day goes on - like I said, he's really not a good morning person.  

So to pay tribute to my favorite husband, I thought it was only fitting that I share some pictures and a very short video.  I'm sure his actions will make you smile like they make me smile.  He doesn't read this blog except when I ask him to, so he probably won't ever know they are here, which, really, is half the fun. :)

My Ultimate Guy

Enoch spent the last weekend playing seven total matches of Ultimate Frisbee. I know some people may not be aware of it, you can learn more about it here, but the basic idea is soccer without assigned positions and what some fondly refer to as the flat ball.

Enoch was on a pick up team consisting mainly of other guys from our ward who started playing just for fun and decided it would be fun to enter the Utah Summer Games in the inaugural year of the sport in that competition. Shortly after returning home Thursday night after his first game and watching a couple others, he realized that there were teams faster (due in a large part to the average age of the other teams) and the other teams were significantly more experienced, nevertheless they persevered.

All in all, I think the teams had a great experience, had some great plays, and are all excited at the prospect that they get the chance to play again next year. Of course, I think they are going to wait until their walk returns to something resembling normal and they don't groan each time they sit down or stand up. :)

Ellie's Tball with Coach Daddy

Ellie is in her first year of tball and loving it. We decided to put her in the Cedar league instead of the Enoch league because we got tired of people not teaching the kids how to really play by the rules because they didn't want any kids feelings to get hurt. Kindof ridiculous if you ask me.Enoch is Ellie's coach this year, along with eleven other five year old girls. I have had several parents tell me how much they love the job Enoch is doing with their girls, trying to teach them the game and having fun and patience while doing it. Basically he's a very awesome guy that I have.

Ellie's first experiences with the bat looked like someone chopping wood, so we had to teach her how to swing with her arms out, hence the reason for her current starting stance. I'm going to work with her this week to see if we can't get her to swing in the proper position.

Fun at Fish Lake

My family has the tradition of going to Fish Lake every year on the weekend of July 24th and this year was the most fun I think we've ever had. A couple of things that were going our way was that we didn't have a 3-4 month old baby or a toddler just learning to walk so there was a little more freedom to just enjoy the time rather than constantly be worried about the youngest. We also stayed longer this year than other years so we had more time and got to visit with family a little more.

We got to Fish Lake at about 8:00 Friday the 20th and set up camp. The kids favorite, roasting marshmallows worked out just right after we got camp set up. The next morning we took our turn going out on the pontoon boat that my dad rents every year when we go up, and believe it or not, Ellie's little Barbie fishing pole and Catie's little Mickey Mouse fishing pole caught the biggest fish!!

Enoch also had a great experience catching fish - I think he caught

one of the biggest fish that day. We got rained on two nights in a row and decided that we had had enough camping and left a day early after going to church at the Fish Lake Lodge, visiting with family on my mom's side of the family, having the traditional whole Madsen family pot luck dinner and fishing a bit more. The nice thing about leaving early was we got back in time to watch Grandma Decker dance with the Lawn Chair Brigade in the parade and Grandpa Keith march with the drill team. We had a fun 24th of July, catching two parades and some sun kissed cheeks in the process :)