A Better Self

Last year, at this time, I decided I had lost me.  So I really put some thought into what I could do to find me again.

In case you are wondering, or if you have lost yourself in all your other roles, let me tell you something.  More than a few tears were shed trying to find myself again.  It required an honest look into reality, a realization of all the things that I easily dismissed, and it was outrageously a little scary, putting myself out there like that, even if it was only to myself.

But the other end is fun and exciting and full of tremendous possibilities beyond what I had ever dreamed. 

Last year's resolutions for me were summed up in one word - LOVE.

I told myself I was going to do what I loved.  I was going to remember what I had loved before and do that again.  I was going to make the most of the time I had with those I loved.  And I was going to figure out how to love myself.

Best. Resolution. Ever.

So now what?  I was thinking about that when I found this quote by Neil Gaiman and decided it was my new motto for 2012.

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”

I hope this happens for you too.

What are your plans to make next year better than last?

A Day in My Life

I'm not sure if this is going to help anyone, but I have had people ask me how I do what I do.  You will see a few patterns and I'll throw out a few hints if I can.  Maybe something that works for me will work for you, and maybe you will have suggestion on how to make things better.

Tasha's Typical Day

4:30 am - alarm goes off - hit snooze

4:40 am - alarm goes off - hit snooze but actually try waking up this time

4:50 am - alarm goes off - get up, dressed (workout clothes always set out the night before), contacts in, brush teeth, out the door

5:10 am - Arrive at Gold's Gym (MWF treadmill + weights; T/Th spinning)

6:10 am - arrive home, check facebook, news sites, the days weather - time to cool down

6:20 am - shower (which includes drinking 44 oz of water while in the shower - great way to hydrate for the day and tell my body I'm really not kidding - it's go time), get ready for day, curlers in girl's hair if they want, switch earrings at least twice

7:20 am - head to work.  Diet Coke.

8:00 am - prep.  Love my first period prep.  Grade, plan, blog hop a little, make copies, etc.

9:15 am - Either Creative Writing or Honors English. 

10:50 am - LUNCH + Diet Coke

11:40 - classes start again.  Both of my afternoons are Junior English classes.  I have to say I really enjoy teaching these kids.  We give each other crap, I push them, they really start to make progress.

2:40 - school is out.  I usually hang around until about 3:10 or so, putting in attendance, bouncin ideas for lessons or prom off other teachers, etc. depending on the day, except on Wednesdays when dance and soccer practice start at 3:00.  Then I almost beat the kids out of there.

Somewhere between here and dinner there is usually another Diet Coke break, and 1-2 times a week, I utilize my super power of being the queen of powernaps and crash on the couch for 10-15 minutes before the kids get home.

Afternoons are full the following.
Mondays - I teach four piano students - 3:45-5:45
Tuesdays - Will scouts, Ellie violin lessons
Wednesday - Ellie school choir, Will soccer practice, Catie regular and company dance practice, Ellie Suzuki group lessons, every other week Ellie activity days
Thursday - Will Soccer
Friday - free

Dinner is usually at 6-6:30 pm.  On Mondays, it has to be something that was once frozen, easy to throw together, etc.  We have been playing kids take turns picking and that works well.  If Enoch is home in time for prep, he's pretty good about jumping in and helping.  He loads the dishwasher the next morning and starts it - the kids unload every morning.

7:00 pm - kids homework, showers, practicing, etc.

8:00 pm - prayers, kids reading, me on my laptop writing, only to be interrupted by prayer time.  This is a daily event on my google calendar.  Yes, I scheduled in me time.  The only way this changes is if I got this writing time in before now. 

9:30 pm - tipping point - like I'm tipping over.  Enoch and I may read, watch TV,  something not requiring brain power.

10-10:30 pm - Goodnight world. 

Enoch will occasionally throw in a load of laundry during the week, but for the most part, laundry is done on the weekends.  

Happier

Have you ever just been happy?  Maybe still tired, worn down, but happy? 

I have felt this way for a month. 

Yep, 31 full days. 

I have been watching all the leaves fall from trees and it just makes me feel like little blessings blowing all around me. 

Why, you ask? 

Because I'm pursuing my passions. 

I'm doing NaNoWriMo again, and I'm happy to report that as of this very second, I have more than 12% done.  I have a storyline that I love, that is deep enough to really take me places and with characters who are revealing a depth I didn't think they could have.

I've really found a fun network of people who are chasing the same dream, have the same crazy, eccentric thoughts that I do and are a little tired but excited. 

My writer's group has been instrumental in helping me develop this story in ways I never thought it could go.

My kids are finding their place - realizing likes, dislikes, what makes them happy and Enoch still has work.  Maybe too much. 

I have had many times of extreme frustration, wondering when I was going to find Tasha again.  And, in the last month, I've really found her, and I have to say, she's lots of fun to have around. 

This may be confusing, but I think many will agree to knowing what it feels like to be mom, wife, church worker, employee, laundry/cleaning/food expert.  And I know I still have to be all those things, but now I can be me too.


I made room in my life to let me be me and I plan on keeping me around for a long time. 

Are you ever alone?

Okay, this isn't some deep philosophical question or even something about lonliness, depression, etc.  This is probably primarily a question for moms.

Quick assignment.  Open your pictures folder on your computer, and count how many pictures are of JUST you in the last two years. 

Yea, now. 

Seriously.

You back?  Okay.  How many did you find?  I took some time over the weekend to look on all three computers I have access to and that have pictures on it.  Guess how many I found?

Zero.

I do not have one picture of just me.

Why did I suddenly realize this?  Remember how I'm working really hard on being a writer?  Well, I went to a conference where they really encouraged people to start making themselves a brand, even way before publication opportunities, so that there is a following, etc.  So I started a new blog, with a blogging schedule, for this purpose, and to keep me focused, and I wanted to have a picture of just me because then I'm my own brand.  You know?

There aren't any.  Okay, there are two, with me eating a cookie.  From an angle that makes it look like my neck morphs into my chin, which is a great look for a linebacker in the NFL, but not the preferable marketing approach I wanted for a 33 year old female.

I know, right?  Crazy.

When talking about this with a friend, she mentioned that once we have kids, we are no longer our own entity.  The other picture I could maybe use is on my teacher page at the website, 30 pounds ago, and I HATE it. 

I guess I'm going to have to start figuring out how to take pictures of myself. 

Don't worry.  I won't succomb to the trend of making kissy faces when I do though.

The Order of Dreams

I have many dreams.  While this statement could be true about the visions my sub-conscious creates during those blessed times of R.E.M., what I'm really talking about is life dreams aka goals, aspirations, what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up kind of dreams. 

I really want to do a triathlon. 

I really want to learn how to play Gershwin's Concerto in F, Shostakovich's 2nd piano concerto and Rhapsody in Blue. 

I want to finish traveling to all 50 states.

I want to see England - all of it.

Here's the thing I realized though.  I'm 33 years old.  Some of these dreams are going to have to go on a list of prioritization. 

Do I WANT to do this?  No.  I really would like to think that I could just chase after all my dreams all at once. 

But I get to have some dreams now.  I get to live out my dream of being a mom.  I get to have my dream continue of a great marriage.  I get to interact with really awesome teenagers on a daily basis, prepping them for college and life.  And I get to chase my dream of "becoming a writer." 

The writing one has moved way up the list, in part because I have joined a writer's group that meets every other week and I have the external motivation to write.  Lots.  Every day.

However, I had the realization last week that chasing this dream meant giving up another, at least for now.  The triathlon had to be moved.  Training for it and trying to write just didn't work.  I was too tired from the heightened workouts in the morning to be able to write at night.  And it was truly making me sad. 

I'm working on my physical fitness in other ways, trying for an overall improvement.  I've taken to riding my bike more to get places when it's just me, in part for the fitness aspect and in part because the economy/gas prices/I just can't make enough money issue. 

So how to order dreams?  For me, I had to go with which ones were pulling at my heart strings the most - which ones were causing me sadness for not chasing - which ones I just knew I needed to work on now. 

Will I get to all the other ones?  I don't know.  But I'm loving the chase right now. 

What?!? A new post?!?

I have completely dropped the ball with this blog.  I remember that I have one, but it just hasn't worked it's way to the top of the priority list for a while. 

Summer was crazy and fast.  I was in charge of girl's camp and hand sewed 23 owls for the girls there, along with all the thoughts, food planning and prep, etc.  Someone once asked me if prom or girl's camp was easier.  I think girl's camp could be, but for me it wasn't.  I had leaders who wanted to be the girls again, sneaking out at 2 or 3 in the morning to scare the girls, etc.  However, I heard from many of the girls that it was their favorite girl's camp ever (even from the Laurels who knew better...) so I consider it a success and worth it.

I started the summer really hitting the workouts well.  I hit a PR in the Summer Games 5k and was feeling amazing and then really did a number on my ankle playing volleyball (AGAIN!!!)  and was back to square one, again.  I'm tentatively planning on participating in this triathlon because I have always wanted to do one and I think I could do this one.  I don't have to register until the week before though, so I'm not completely committed.  But with this in mind I'm really paying attention to my nutrition again, pushing my workouts HARD (just ask my legs today) and making getting up at 5 am completely worth it.  I don't just want to maintain, I want to improve.

I'm also chasing my other passion with determination - writing.  Since moving, I have found a few ladies who are also chasing this dream.  We have a writer's group every other week, pushing, questioning, complimenting and improving our writing.  I'm going to attend two different writer's conferences in the next few months, taking advantage of the chance to hear from professionals, push to get to my goal of publication and quit pushing this back with a someday attitude.  Sure, I'm only 33 and have a lot of life left, but these are goals that I have had that I have let be taken over by other things (pinterest, facebook, tv shows) - things that aren't worthwhile. 

I'm going to try to keep track of what's going on here, but if I have 30 minutes left at the end of the day before I collapse from exhaustion, it's got to go to the book.  Don't worry, you avid readers.  I will be asking for some favors in reading it when I get it to a point where you aren't going to be annoyed at the plot gaps, incomplete characters or things that just don't make sense.  And if you really don't want to read it, also don't worry.  I'm not going to ask anyone who isn't completely gung ho - you all have busy lives as well :) 

Am I Mr. Holland?

I have had scenes from Mr. Holland's Opus running through my head for weeks now.  I haven't seen that movie for years and yet there it's been.  I couldn't figure it out at first, but then it hit me.  Mr. Holland had the dream of becoming a composer that got lost in the daily life.  Sure, he ends up with insurmountable personal fulfillment and still gets to put his music writing talents to use because of his career choice, and throughout the movie, we get to see the evolution of his passion.  He even has the culminating great moment when the work that has been ruminating around for several years is prepared and ready for his to conduct.

I long for that.

I have had an incredibly nagging feeling for for weeks - okay, MONTHS - that I need to write.  Not just a blog or facebook update, but really write.  NOW.  However, the daily duties combined with my more recent March Madness*, has worn me out, worn me down and I am left with a deep desire that isn't as deep as my fatigue. 

I have this fear.  I fear I will wake up in 20 years with memories of students and laughs and light bulb moments but will have the feeling of the man who buried his talent and has only that left.  I've done pretty good so far this year with prioritizing myself better, but the nagging feeling is still here and it is almost making me nauseous. 

I fear the look in God's eyes when He asks why i didn't do more with what He gave me. 

I fear that knowledge of what I could have been, who I could have influenced, but let myself become too busy.  Sure there is a time for everything, but I sometimes wonder if we say that because acknowledging that the time could be now is just too damn scary.

Or overwhelming.

Or doesn't go with "the plan."

All I know is I MUST figure something out.

I am sick of feeling sick.

*Updates on birthdays, prom, science fair projects and upcoming baptism are on their way...

I don't want to SEE the Wizard - I want to BE the Wizard

Sometimes, in my life, I feel like one of the characters in the Wizard of Oz.  No, not the munchkins - I was taller than them by the time I saw the movie.  In elementary.

One of the things that I have always found interesting about those characters is they are parts of a whole.  Obviously their inabilities are exaggerated to make them endearing characters, but they seem to just be one thing.  I mean no one ever compliments the lion for his ability to be empathetic for a friend, or the tinman's bravery and willingness to start chopping at people who threaten his friends or the scarecrow's ability to lighten the situation with his humorous antics.  But they are all off to see the wizard with the desire to have ONE thing.  Not to be complete or whole, but because they are longing for one thing.

Sometimes, I feel like those characters.  I feel like I go through phases where I'm trying to be awesome at one thing, and then a few weeks later another and so on.  And sometimes I even feel a little crabby like the witch. So what did the wizard have that I want?

Proper perspective and sheer determination.  

So, some life-balancing goals.  

Some of you may have noticed that I put a pounds lost button on my blog.  I have lost that just by changing my diet with MyFitnessPal, but I really have 15 to go before I would be okay with my weight and some serious toning and muscle building to even really be happy after that.  I found a program called Couch to 5k (c25k) that I'm embarking on and biking on my crappy decade old mtn bike on non-running days.  But more than that, my commitment to be fit has me trying to find reasons to ride my bike more often and to more places. And this journey so far as me wanting to buy clothes that aren't primarily black anymore, being happy about the person I see in the mirror each day and beating myself up less.  All good things, right?

Obviously during the summer, I have more time (and desire...and eye power...and alertness) to read lots, but then often, during the school year, I will let that slump off a bit.  I require my Honors English kids to read 70 pages a week.  That's ten a night - surely I can fit that in.

I set time aside in my daily schedule to write and have three different ideas I'm toying around with right now, so the writer's block will not work here. And I can really find 15 minutes.  I'm trying to write 500 words a day but making sure I get the 15 minutes for now.

Because of Bountiful Baskets, we have been having fun eating at home more, but then this last week, that crapped out big time.  The kids like helping me, seeing and trying the food we get is like a weekly Christmas and when Charlotte posts yummy recipes like this, I really have no excuse, right?

I decided that it was pointless to just make goals on December 31 and then check a year later to see what happened.  The beginning of the school year seems like a good time to see what I can do to get all five elements of my life - physical, mental, spiritual, emotional and financial - more balanced.

I'm off to become the Wizard...kindof.

WFMAD

Laurie Halse Anderson is one of the most inspiring people to me.  She balances a decent amount of acreage, raises chickens, plants beautiful gardens and writes compelling books.  This year, like every August for the past two years, she is doing a program of Write Fifteen Minutes A Day.  The last two years, I declined participation, convinced I was too busy or didn't really have something to write.

That has changed this year.

My master's is done, my classroom is trashed (CHS remodel/renovation project) and I'm busy, but I've recently made a commitment to keep my sanity, which means doing things I like for me. 

Will I ever have people clamoring for my work like Ally?  

Who knows.  

Will I ever write as fast as Stephenie? 

Probably not. 

Will I ever have a writing cottage like Laurie?

Um...no. 

But I get a kick out of writing, creating characters and seeing what happens to them.

So, for the month of August I will write fifteen minutes a day.  I didn't know about it on Sunday, but I put it off yesterday and didn't get it done before I went to bed.  I was woken up three separate times by characters I've been thinking about but haven't written yet. I won't procrastinate anymore.  And I've had a few new ideas that I'm excited about.  I figure it will be good to develop the habit and gear me up for a successful year with NaNoWriMo. 

Since I know not everyone want to write, I am highly recommending you do something this month, for 15 minutes every single day, that makes you happy, may lead to some personal development and find some way for it to happen without any distractions (a girl can dream, right?)  Get husbands on board - I think most would be willing to pitch in for 15 minutes to have a happier wife. 

I would love to know what you decide...

Autodidactic: Self-Taught

I came across this book because Jim Parkinson came to our school last year to talk about and make students aware of the death march of the Bataan soldiers during WWII and sparked the interest of myself and another English teacher concerning getting our whole school on board with this book. Parkinson is a delightful man who may actually drink more Diet Coke than I do (I know - shocking), was one of the prosecuting attorneys in a multi-million dollar tobacco settlement, is an avid golfer who plays with TaylorMade clubs (if you are a golfer, you know why the brand is important) and he writes very well.

This short book is about how people in general can improve their lives through turning themselves into an autodidactic - someone who is self taught. He explains that he coasted through high school and did what needed to be done in order to have success, but didn't really care. It was his immersion in a foreign country and the necessity to learn to communicate that changed his perspective on learning, and he decided that if he wanted to have success in life, he needed to ensure he had success in life.

Parkinson describes how he became an avid reader, struggled through the writing process to learn how to write well, and dedicated his life to being smarter every single day. This really is a book that everyone needs to read, and at $5.00 a book, it's very reasonable. It has rekindled in me a desire to be better read, improve my writing and expand my vocabulary. I am recommitted to my own intelligence after reading this book.

As a side note, our principal graciously agreed to purchase one of these books for every single CHS student next year, and we are launching the literacy program with Mr. Parkinson teaching for two solid days, as well as writing lesson plans to continue his ideas through the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted on how that goes :)

On Writing

For those of you who have read this blog for any amount of time, you will be well aware of the fact that I have a general like for most books and I read all different kinds of genres. The one genre I really haven't gotten into (and not sure that I will) is horror fiction. I teach the horror story to my creative writing students (they love it - gets them writing) but I really haven't read much. But I kept hearing about how this book was one of the greatest on the craft of writing and exceptionally real. I put it off for two years and finally picked it up. I figured it was in my classroom and I recommended it to my writing students so I should read it right? I was pleasantly surprised at how much enjoyability I found in reading this book.

The first 100 or so pages of this book are some of King's memories - his horrific, chronic ear infections that had to be drained, his natural draw to the old horror films as a child and his early passion to write. He covers a bit about meeting his wife, Tabitha, his passion for writing, and getting the idea to write his first book, Carrie. He also covers the great number of rejection letters he received through his career, the crap jobs he worked trying to make it as a writer and the day things started to turn around. Then, he spends the rest of the book talking about what he considers to be the essential skills a writer should possess, what is important and what is crap (he chooses some other words...) and reminds the reader many times that nothing matters if the story isn't good.

I LOVED this book. I laughed out loud several times, which I really did not expect. As before mentioned, I have not read any of his books, but I wonder if his tone is as straightforward there as it was here. I think that is one of the reasons I loved this book. I appreciated the praise he gave to many authors, but also the way he would state both name and work when he found something that was a disgrace. His boldness was refreshing, especially in a world where everyone LOVES everything anyone has written. While I really, really want to be a published writer, I really want to be one that is GOOD - not one who is published for the sake of publishing. If nothing else, reading this book reinforced that idea, and has me very excited to get going.

*DISCLAIMER: There is some pretty strong language in this book - not really excessive, but still there. If ANY of the swear words offend you, this may not be the work for you.

Visions of Sugar Plums?

I woke up early this morning. I really don't know why. It is one of those days when I can sleep until eight and still make it to choir by ten easily. Nevertheless, at 6:30 I was wide awake, thoughts racing through my head with complete abstraction and memories so powerful they were accompanied by the feelings from the experiences, but vague enough I can't remember them.

I had the chance to reconnect with a dear friend last night thanks to facebook. She moved to the school at the time when I really needed a friend. I remember finding out she was coming, that she could play volleyball and hoping with all my might that we would hit it off. We did. I consider her one of my very dearest friends from high school and am thrilled that we have found a way to keep in touch.

She is an amazingly gifted artist. As I was looking through her art and being completely blown away, I also started to have a guilty feeling creep in, that I have something of a gift or two that I really "have been too busy" to develop for the last several years. Enter the parable of the talents, the thought of trying to explain to my maker why I didn't do more, etc. That's probably contributing to the lack of sleep as well.

I have had this feeling for quite some time now that I'm not doing enough with my life. It's a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, encouraging me to do more, which is strange because in the past when I have had these feelings they were usually associated with guilt. This one isn't. It's like a motivational Jimminy Crickett, telling me I can do more, pleading with me to do more. Then I have been listening and reading different people of success as they talk about their days, the prophet's days, and how they were able to get everything in because of the amount of day they got out of their day and their drive to do so.

I pride myself on my ability to be disciplined. For the last six years of my public education, I was up at six and practicing the piano. I miss playing the piano for anything besides church. There are works that come on all the time that I want to learn.

I now have two novel ideas that need to be developed. I think there are some characters in there that are responsible for keeping me awake.

I keep saying I will do yoga every morning, and I always feel better when I do, but then I don't for days at a time.

It's time I did better.

The image is from my very favorite tshirt, available here

Didn't Win Again

In sixteen hours, NaNoWriMo will be over again. I realized about November 15th that I wasn't going to meet my goal this year. I have a terrific idea that I'm thrilled about and can't wait to explore. But this year, things just didn't click the way I hoped they would after having participated last year. Here are some reasons why.

1. Last year, I wasn't taking any Master's classes. And granted, this semesters classes were a joke and a half, including assignments about how to integrate a yo-yo into my classroom and how to

validate information about a half-human half horse from the Enquirer (really?) but they still took up time, energy and all creative ideas.

2. I'm in a primary presidency that is the most fluid I've ever experienced. We have teachers who won't call in subs, not enough people to fill callings, more people leaving...I guess this isn't uncommon right now, but since I was put in as the second counselor in July, we have never had enough teachers for everything and we still don't have a secretary. It's kindof a frazzled time in our ward right now and I am feeling that as well.

3. I have more kids involved in more things, and not even over the top. Will has scouts every Tuesday, which is also the same day Ellie has dance and every other one, I have a presidency meeting. Just people going places.

4. We have been SICK. My kids missed the first part of November with either Swine Flu or Influenza A (they aren't even testing anymore) so that was a stress to find people who could cover as I only have so many days I can take off from school. Then I spent a week with an annoying dry hacking cough that only flared up at night, you know, when I was trying to sleep. Throw in Thanksgiving, my kitchen experiments, my quest to not eat out, and writing just didn't make it to the top of the priority list.

What did I learn? Well, for one of the first times in my life, I let something go. I have learned that only I can determine the size of my plate AND how much to put on it. I really wanted to have success this year, but it wasn't essential. I think my ability to let that go made this past holiday much more enjoyable and I'm thrilled with the experiences I'm having with my kids.

Last night, Will, Ellie and Enoch played Apples to Apples, Jr.

They are getting old enough that they can think in abstract terms, make comparisons, etc. It was HILARIOUS. Catie and I played UNO (minus the Draw Two and Draw Four cards so the game doesn't outlast her attention span) I love it when she wins. She raises her little hands above her head (touchdown pose) and says "YEESSSS!" That's my girl.

Another positive from this experience is that I now have two stories I can work through. I would really like to get them to the point where they are publishable, whether or not that ever happens. I enjoy writing and really think it is going to be just what I need in the future, when the Master's is done, and I want that creative outlet. And yes, I have every intention of participating, and winning, next year.

A Gift For Your Gifts

Here's a secret fact about me.

I can't crochet.

Or knit.

Or really do much that requires any manipulation of thread.

I once sat down with my mom to quilt and bent three needles beyond use.

In 20 minutes.

What I can do is write little ditties about thread. My mom recently wanted to send a doily she made to her friend who is serving as a mission president's wife in NY, but didn't want her friend to think it was just a doily.

Are you getting the feeling that my mom and I don't really share talents? In case you are wondering, remember this?

So, for her to not "just send a doily" I wrote her this poem. If you are one of those people who are talented like my mom, feel free to use it (just please give me credit...).

Some say this is just a piece of string with many knots and holes

What makes it more than this is the journey that it knows.

It started with a bit of hop, a dream of what may be

Just as this is more than string, you're more than a friend to me.

The knots are times I've hurt and struggled through trials, heartache and tears

Your encouragement, smiles and simple love helped me improve through the years

The pattern in this little string was made with time and good intent

This string, now more, demonstrates what your friendship has meant.

I hope you may find in your home a place where this string can do its part

Add some kind of delicate grace as you have done for my heart.

The laughter and tears we have shared leaves no room for just in the end

This string has become much more, as have I, for I have you as my friend.

That Self Improvement Thing

So I'm trying to be a super-fantastic homemaker working mom who makes delicious meals, is warm and supportive and maintains my sanity. But I have this not so secret ambition of being a writer and NaNoWriMo provides me with that opportunity.

I'm feeling a little frustrated (note: not stressed, frustrated) because I just am not getting the time to write that I would like. So the idea enters my mind to just upload what I did last year and add to it for this year and then I would be further, still working on a great story (great in my mind at least and mine is the only mind to have seen it so far) and then I could get that sense of accomplishment. (Okay, it would be a false sense, but sometimes the validation is worth it, right?)

Sometimes things are much harder in reality than in theory. Self improvement is definitely one of those things.

Excitement and flying pigs

I look forward to sequels in many books, but when I saw the cover for this one, I actually clapped my hands and giggled a little. If you haven't read Shiver yet, give it a go. It's fun, cool (literally) and complete brain candy.

Still waiting for an actual publication date on the third Hunger Games....will let you know when I know...

Currently at 3600 words with NaNoWriMo - won't be working the next two days so I can be home with my swine flu infected children. Plan on baking, writing, playing games and cuddling.

WOW.

I know, you think I fell off the face of the earth - not quite, but close. I have taken pictures of the different things I've been making. Our family has not eaten out (with the exception of a couple of times Enoch and I went on a date) since I posted and I'm feeling fantastic about that. I have lots of catching up to do and hope to get to it soon.

In the meantime, a few things.

One - it's November. Sure, you are thinking Thanksgiving, food, etc. I am as well and have some great plans, but it also means it is NaNoWriMo - if you were here last year, you may remember this is the program where I pledge to write 50,000 words in one month. Last year I was about 12,000 short, but I have the expectation to do better this time. I'll let you know.

Two, I really want to make more personalized gifts for people this year. One of the blogs I have come to love, Skip to my Lou, is doing tutorials, etc. to help people who have the same goals I do. There is a button on the right to lead you the way.

I'm enjoying getting back to something resembling homemaker land - I'll try to keep this blog more updated in the process.

Happy November!

Combining Two Loves

There are several things I love - dark chocolate, my stir crazy popcorn popper, Kookabura licorice (yummy mango!), football, cute clothes/shoes/jewelry, etc. I adore my kids, continually fall in love with my husband and manage my life happier when i have a cold Diet Coke in my hand. I love to teach and it takes up most of my time during the school year (duh!) and I love to write, but between all my other loves above, it has been getting pushed into non-existence.

I teach two creative writing classes. Most of the beginner's writing books recommend that new writers develop the habit of writing by doing so for 15 minutes a day. I really didn't want this to feel like homework, a "must be creative or fail" situation because that kills creativity. Then I thought, since we are on the block schedule and each class is 87 minutes long, I could cut 15 minutes out of my teaching time and have them do a free write in class. And what is the best way to teach (all you parents out there know this one. No really, you do!) By example!

Epiphany!!!

I can write for 15 minutes each "B day" with my class. But wait! I have two!!! I get to write for 30 minutes a day and get paid while doing it!!!

My student's think it's cool because I'm not just giving them crap to do and they like that it is casual - I don't give them writing prompts, tell them this time it must be - they just get to write. We have only done this twice now, but I'm loving it.

Laurie Halse Anderson usually does a write fifteen minutes a day for a month on her blog and this year, because of some tragedies in her life, she didn't do it until August. August is just a hard month for me, so I'm going to go back through all of her posts she did in August and do them in September.

This year I am also going to try to succeed at my 50,000 word goal during November for NaNoWriMo. I would love some buddies who want to give it a go as well...let me know if you are interested. It's lots of ridiculous and at times stressful fun, but a blast!!! And the best part - I've worked this into the curriculum, teach by example and will have almost three hours in classroom to write with my students this year. Granted, I don't have a story I want to pound out yet, but have no worries...I'm brainstorming.

I'm having so much fun combining these two loves! Now, if I can only figure out how to mesh some others...chocolate popcorn? Football and shopping? Reading and playing with my kids (which reminds me - I have four books I need to write reviews for...their coming I promise!) I guess some things are just so good they are better left alone :)

TIBTW Day

Sooo...today is December 1st.  No, I didn't get my 50,000 words.  I tried really hard, feel like I did a good job, but didn't hit my 50,000 words, which, being a goal oriented person, really, REALLY bugs me.  

Therefore, I dubbed today "Trying is better than wondering" day.  Yes, I took the authority today here in Wecmomland to make an official day.  So, like the dare I gave you, today is the day to try even if you don't think it is really possible to get it done.  

Really, what's the worse thing that can happen?  I think playing among the stars is fabulous!

On a side note, ten years ago today Enoch first kissed me.  Yes, we have been in each other's life romantically for ten years.  I'm thinking this calls for chocolate kisses all over our house, but since I just cleaned, I think I will do it in containers.  I wonder if I can still find some wax lips somewhere.   Hmmm.... 

NaNoWriMo Update and a Dare

Today I hit 10,000 words.  If you have been following this at all, and shaking your head at the insanity, that's 20%, or 1/5th depending on your tracking preference.  I really felt like I struggled to get to the first 5,000 words, not sure where I wanted to take the story, or where it was, but this story just seems to writing itself.  I'm getting ideas from everywhere, driving into town to run errands, seeing the way students act around school, listening to what my kids are saying.  I didn't think it would be this kind of experience, but I'm loving every single step of it, having the time of my life, and not feeling nearly the stress that I thought I would.  

On a side note, there is a TV show called Studio 5 here in Utah and it is doing a week long  (maybe it's a month long) series called Be Daring.  They were talking about how people just sit around saying, "Maybe, someday, I'll do __________" and someday never comes.  I thought it was great that this was the promotion they were working on at the same time I'm doing this, so now I'll issue the challenge to you - I dare you. I dare you to do something that you have been wanting to try forever, but keep putting it off because (fill in the lame excuse here) and just do it.  I was thinking about how much we challenge our kids to do new things, but often, as the parents, we really don't follow what we teach.  

Really, what's the worst thing that could happen?  I think the worst thing that could happen is wondering.  So, reader, I dare you.