Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Why I Hope Rodgers and Hammerstein Get Reincarnated

When I was in 5th grade and an unwilling participant in the mandatory maturation program, some idiot inspired teacher thought it would just be so cute to have all the girls learn some songs to sing at some parent assembly.  One of the songs was I Enjoy Being A Girl.  Maybe as a pre-dating program - but 5th grade?  Seriously? 

I have a few problems with that.

The depiction of the girl in the song when I was in 5th grade drove me crazy.  Our teachers told us all how were were supposed to look.  Bras weren't cool.  Curves weren't cool.  Because that meant other things were happening, whether or not we wanted them to.  The boys were relentless to us for these things. 

I didn't want boys calling me all the time - I didn't like most of them.  My opinion of many of them never improved. 

Since several of us had already started having zits, our idiot clever teacher switched "a pound and a half of cream on my face" to "a pound of Noxema on my face".  Yup, feeling lots better about that!  Sure glad I'm a girl. 

Dresses made of lace.  Puke.

We had to learn actions to go with this song.  Because it was cute and that's what girls do.

Our dads were sitting in the audience and very aware of why we were singing this stupid song.

That just made everyone uncomfortable. 

Over the next few years, there were increasingly fewer reasons I enjoyed being a girl.  Love it when I had a deep cut four inches long above my ankle trying to shave.  Yanking individual hairs out of my eyebrows is a kick.  Hormonal imbalances just make me giggle with delight (BTW how come guys hormones don't ever get out of whack?).  And don't even get me started on boob issues.  And I get to enjoy all these wonderful delights for 20 more years at which point I'll go into menopause, whether or not I WANT to, and get all sorts of fun new things to enhance the "girl" experience.

Therefore, it seems to me that the only way for things to be fair is when MEN write songs about what they like about girls and say it's what we like, they should be able to have a personal experience of how much fun it really is.


Charlotte said...

Hey! I sang that song and did those same actions--right down to the Noxema line!

Mellissa said...

I'm curious as to what made this bee fly in your bonnett...

We also had to sing some ridiculous song. You know, because the maturation program itself wasn't embarrassing enough. And my dear, sweet mother was sitting in the audience crying. I could have died. I know I wanted to.

Tasha said...

Had a student collapse in the hall because of pain associated with being a girl - could barely make it to her mom's car.

Have spent three hours and $250 trying to get my stupid body to function in a way that I can function...

Annoyed. Should be resolved shortly.

Erin said...

Uh, I know LOTS of guys who have hormones get out of whack. Some call it hypoglycemia (without an actual medical diagnosis), others say grumpy, and guys themselves blame it on having to wait for women (like none of them even cause women to wait after they've already been waiting all day on children, babies, laundry, and dinner yet still manage to not slam doors and sulk for three hours or until they get some food in their bellies...I come from a long line of moody males and my one sister is married to one too).

Roni said...

I HATED that song. I cringe at the thought of it, and the stupid actions that go with it. As I got older I felt like it was a brainwashing to convince us that our periods were an exciting thing to start. Followed by the stupid video of one girl getting all excited about her friend starting. Bleh!