Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dear Santa

This is the time of year when many children write their letters to Santa. Here's the thing - there are many times in my life when I have to be mature, organized, responsible and put others first. But there are equally as many times when I sit down to a good meal and I do a little dance (seated, of course) because my food tastes so good and I'm hungry. I also will spontaneously grab Enoch and start dancing with him, which is a disadvantage to him because he can't hear the music in my head that I am dancing to (I just tell him he isn't trying hard enough). I'm quite a kid at heart. So, with that in mind, here is my Santa letter.

Dear Santa,

Thank you so much for everything you gave me last year to stay warm. It truly has been a delightful experience to sleep all the way through the night during winter because of my heated mattress pad, and I'm delighted when I walk in the door and my programmable thermostat has my house warm and waiting for me.

Here are a few things I would like this year.

1. I would like to be able to develop characters and use language like Laurie Halse Anderson. Please.

2. I would like 30 lbs to melt off me like the butter I keep leaving on my stove.

3. I would either like people to stop making movies about books, or, if they are to continue, to actually get the movies right.

4. I would like to produce literature at Stephenie Meyer's pace.

5. I would really like Will to not be scared to speak anymore.

6. I would like Enoch's golf game to include more birdies.

7. I am in my 30's and would really like to get over the whole acne thing. I've only got so many years before the wrinkles start kicking in and I would appreciate a few years of harmonious skin in the transition.

8. Please give Enoch a new truck. His stinks. Really. And I'm pretty sure it's contaminating the environment way more than the gas from cow farts.

9. Please bring me the magic dust you use to keep your shops clean. Elves are kids, right? And they keep things cleaned up a tidy. So obviously you are using some kind of magic dust. If it is a spray, that's okay too. I'm not picky. I could really use it on my girls rooms. Oh! I almost forgot about that whole naughty/nice list. I need to correct myself and stay on the nice list. I would use it on mine too.

10. I could really use a 28 hour day. It's genius, really. I could have two more hours to work and two more hours to sleep. It stays perfectly symmetrical, avoids that whole phobia over things with 13 and would allow me to get everything done in the day that I want to get done. I would appreciate it if you would work on that for me.

Thanks again for all you do, for the excitement you instill in my children's eyes, the way you make even the crabbiest old people smile and for your never ending kindness. I'm working on some amazing treats for you on the 24th that are delicious.


Oh! If you have some kids who want a kitten or two, I have three that have adopted us, and with three cats already, I really do have some to spare. Please leave the big ones, my kids love them.


Mellissa said...

That was great. I would adopt one of your kittens, but we're in the same boat as you - we also already have three cats.

Nisa said...

I love your list! I would also love to adopt one of those kittens if I could!

Erin H. said...

I would like #7 as well. Probably 10 too.

Paula said...

I love your list, Tasha, and might include a couple of your requests on my list as well, especially #3, #9(definitely), and #10. As far as the cats, that would be a definite NO! Two dogs and four kids is WAY more than enough for me! Good luck giving them away, though. :)

Nishant said...

love to adopt one of those kittens if I could!

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