Sunday, December 6, 2009

Visions of Sugar Plums?


I woke up early this morning. I really don't know why. It is one of those days when I can sleep until eight and still make it to choir by ten easily. Nevertheless, at 6:30 I was wide awake, thoughts racing through my head with complete abstraction and memories so powerful they were accompanied by the feelings from the experiences, but vague enough I can't remember them.

I had the chance to reconnect with a dear friend last night thanks to facebook. She moved to the school at the time when I really needed a friend. I remember finding out she was coming, that she could play volleyball and hoping with all my might that we would hit it off. We did. I consider her one of my very dearest friends from high school and am thrilled that we have found a way to keep in touch.

She is an amazingly gifted artist. As I was looking through her art and being completely blown away, I also started to have a guilty feeling creep in, that I have something of a gift or two that I really "have been too busy" to develop for the last several years. Enter the parable of the talents, the thought of trying to explain to my maker why I didn't do more, etc. That's probably contributing to the lack of sleep as well.

I have had this feeling for quite some time now that I'm not doing enough with my life. It's a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach, encouraging me to do more, which is strange because in the past when I have had these feelings they were usually associated with guilt. This one isn't. It's like a motivational Jimminy Crickett, telling me I can do more, pleading with me to do more. Then I have been listening and reading different people of success as they talk about their days, the prophet's days, and how they were able to get everything in because of the amount of day they got out of their day and their drive to do so.

I pride myself on my ability to be disciplined. For the last six years of my public education, I was up at six and practicing the piano. I miss playing the piano for anything besides church. There are works that come on all the time that I want to learn.

I now have two novel ideas that need to be developed. I think there are some characters in there that are responsible for keeping me awake.

I keep saying I will do yoga every morning, and I always feel better when I do, but then I don't for days at a time.

It's time I did better.
The image is from my very favorite tshirt, available here

4 comments:

Nisa said...

Me too. Your pep talk to you was motivating enough for me. Thanks.

Harmony said...

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Eccl. 3:1

Mellissa said...

Good luck. That little cricket fellow tends to tell us good things. :)

Nishant said...

I would love to be a fly on the wall in your classroom.

Work from home India